.. with the suicide, I mean. Of course, I don't. That would be unprofessional and with the cost of boats, counterproductive. So I slave on, pretending...to care about people I don't care about, just to collect a paycheck.One of the ways I get through it is to just pretend to be listening. I nod my head every now and then, which, incidentally, also helps hide the fact that I was falling asleep, which happens quite a bit ... actually all the time. Then I just give some standard advice and trick. . and immediately dashed to the bathroom.A sudden wave of panic and nausea had come over me, and I needed atoilet. When getting into the men's room, I leaned over and placed myhands on the marble counter around the numerous sinks. I looked atmyself in the mirror, and thought my hair looked a bit shaggy. "Guessit's time for a haircut." I thought aloud. I turned on the water, andcupped some into in my mouth with a hand, and the nausea seemed tosubside.I still had another seven hours of work. I loved the feel of the warm cock in my hand. I became an exhibitionist. I would show to anyone. However only safely, where no one could get me.I started jerking off in front of the window, so the the girl, Liz, across the street would watch. She and he girlfriend would watch me until I would cum.Liz would come over to my apartment house and bed down with a motorcycle crew. I used to watch from my window and jerk off. She getting even with me. I used to think I would go across the hall and fuck. Ian made her one of his priorities. Janet was out going and warm toward people as Gene was not. He made strong headway with her by telling her when Melissa would be “dropping by”. His observation of them showed him that they get stoned almost every night. Sometimes to the point that nothing could wake them up. Ian actually went over the fence one night and hit Gene upside the hard and he never flinched. This information helped him with his plans. After Melissa’s last visit, Ian.
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