I give myself over to whatever is going to happen. I am in control, and yet, I am so distant from everything that is happening that I feel like I’m ...pectating my own fall down the rabbit hole. I walk down the hallway without hesitation now. I don’t care how much she scolds me for this, I am getting what I want; I am in control. I know that’s not true; she plays a good game, she took control from the start and any control I have now is all an illusion. Who cares?! The bathroom comes into view. She walked ahead talking to the one guy and the other followed with me and said to follow him to their hotel. I said she's going to ask where we are going. He said in a few minutes once she's settled in the car she will probably be out. I said ok. So sure enough she was out almost as soon as I started the car and let it warm up. So i followed him to the hotel and luckily his room was on the first floor. I got out of the car and I said she's out, how did he know. He said he spiked her drink and. Then, out of nowhere, he said, DAMN! Its so fucking hot in here! I started laughing at this, because Clay very rarely cursed in front of me or anyone. I apologized for laughing, and told him that I got so hot, I had to take off my usual t-shirt and shorts that I wore to bed. He assured me that it wasnt a problem, and if I didnt mind, he would strip down also. Well…much to my surprise, Clay did not wear underwear, so when he crawled into bed next to me, he was stark naked! The room was dark, but. From the life long alcoholic to the young housewives now made homeless and destitute by the phony housing crisis that pervades American society right now. For what ever reason, some simply choose this life, and don’t want help. I have to at least try and ‘help them’ straighten out. What can I do but go thru the motions? It is the second category of homeless that I lean toward heart and soul. The mostly young women that for whatever reason end up on the streets. Theirs is a mixed.
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