And I am, don't get me wrong. I am healthy, have friends, am not terrible at school and all of those subjects I hate learning for will soon be over. B...t, as probably every other 18-year old boy, one thing bugs me the most.“Masturbating is nice and all, but I'd really like to experience something with a real girl sometime soon!”Yeah, love and sex aren't really my thing. Not because I don't want to, heck, I'd kill if I'd get the chance, but I never saw any chance to initiate anything that might. How come you were watching this? For fun, dont be such a prude! I am not a prude Tracy, but this . . . .this is kind of . . . aggressive looking, and the guy is ugly and out of shape. Just surprised you picked this one. Well I just picked that to see the positions they did, see if there were ones I didnt know. Didnt know? How many do you know? Are you, are you having sex with someone? Why wouldnt you tell me? Oh nothing like that, just you know . . . educating myself. I accepted that answer and. She was obviously well-off. It wasn't just the car and the driver.It was also the way she carried herself, with a certain assurance, a strong confidencethat was not arrogance. Andalthough her clothing was casual, it was elegant and obviously expensive.Perhaps even tailor-made. She was also very attractive with curlingshoulder-length black hair, bright blue eyes and a stunning smile. Perhaps shewas a bit more muscular than the girl was used to, but she found it sexy. Well,truthfully, maybe it. They're the scum of the earth. Then, I look at myself and ... I'm no better. Not one single shred better.FUCK!I fucking hate myself so much right now. What the fuck do I do? How do I make this right? There's got to be a way. Think, man, think.I had been here before. Standing at Jenny's door, wracked with guilt, too cowardly to knock. I found the courage to do it before. Just do it, man. Knock. Get it over with. Tell her, "No more 'service', Jenny." And this time tell her why. All of it. And.
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