The kids text me “plz” which is shorter than please. I text back “no” which is shorter than “yes.”I’m going to retire and live off of my...savings. Not sure what I’ll do the second week.Even duct tape can’t fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.This item is compliments of an Anonymous donor:A man was sitting on a blanket at. The plan Marcia had come up with was to offer Ken a job that paid much better than the one he had, and get him to live here with them. She hoped that given time the sisters would be able to seduce the young man into taking care of their needs. The first part of the plan called for offering him the job in such a way as for him to not think of it as a gift, but rather as an opportunity. Ken agreed to watch the workers that morning and give Marta his opinion. Two hours later she approached him,. “We just decided to go exploring along the headland.”“Uh huh,” he grunted. “How serious are you two?” he asked. “I mean, it has only taken you and her a few years to realise the obvious.”“Obvious?” I asked. “What do you mean?”“Come, on, Will,” he said. “Blind Freddy could see that to two of you have been keen on each other for ages. Everyone knows that. How far have you gone, I mean, you know, have...”“Have we had sex yet?” I said, cutting to the point. “No, we haven’t, and we don’t want to. I couldnt give a fuck any more so I set off home.I got to the country lane leading back to civilisation and I was looking all over for anything like string to wrap round my leg to hide my embaresment. I noticed a plastic bag in the hedge so I thought I would use that. I wasdreaching in to it ,cock and balls in one hand as I didnt want to nettle them.A fucking car comes down just as I was elbow deep in the hedge almost reaching the bag.expecting some smart arse comment from the driver I.
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